The Importance of Association

From reading some of my previous blogs you would've gathered that I am employer deficient at present. So I have taken to various ways to try and enrich myself. I keep myself up to date with what's happening in the media, I keep up with my gym and I play Badminton where possible.
I've got my books, and I've got my DVD's, as well as my ever growing music collection.
But most importantly I have my friends and family.

I'm going to put special emphasis on my friends for the moment, for they are the very reason i'm writing this.

I speak to my friends daily. They keep me in the loop via emails, text, whatsapp, phonecalls so I don't miss out.
They keep my spirits up, they make positive suggestions when I'm not feeling so, they show me options I mightn't see otherwise.

All my friends are employed (well, most of them). And they all *seem* to have themselves in order. They're going places, making plans, aiming high.
Some of them work for big companies, some of them have their own businesses.
ALL of them are achievers.

That was the important part. They are all achievers.
They all set themselves targets, achieve their targets and set new ones. A few of them have been where I am, so they can empathise.
But they're all making something of themselves, or at least trying.
None confine themselves to their situation either, in fact all of them have said they would emigrate should the opportunity arise, so it's evident their views are not microcosmic.

All of these things set the bar for me.

If I choose to surround myself amongst greats, I can't afford not to be right?
I'd be doing a disservice to the team and myself.
So I can only strive for great things, and aim high.

It would be easy to conform to the stereotype, make a few phone calls and enter the seedy world of hustling, but long for that, I can only aim high.

I'm working on a few things, so not too long I hope, but I'm definitely aiming for full stretch.

Don't Let MTV Raise Your Daughter

A London student has died of a heart attack after having an illegal buttock-enhancement injection in a hotel room in America.

Claudia Aderotimi, 20, was allegedly injected with "industrial silicone" normally used as a sealant. It is thought the substance was injected directly into a vein by mistake.

Increasing numbers of women are having the procedure because they want fuller figures like stars such as Jennifer Lopez or Beyoncé. A former Miss Argentina died after having buttock implants.

Ms Aderotimi is said to have gone to America with three friends to have the injection, which can cost up to £2,000, in room 425 of the Hampton Inn hotel in Philadelphia.

Speaking outside the family home in Hackney, her sister Vivian said: "We found out yesterday. We're still in shock. We need to think about what we have to do."

Police believe cheaper industrial silicone may have been used in the unlicensed procedure rather than medical grade silicone used in breast implant surgery. It is believed that one of the women she had travelled with to Philadelphia had paid £1,120 for a hip enhancement using the same technique.

Source:

Evening Standard

Peter Dominiczak

Feb 11th

What is going on people?

No really, that wasn't a rhetorical question, this inquiring mind wants to know when university students started spending their 'hard earned' money on trips to Philadelphia to be operated on in hotel rooms, so that they could fulfill their life long ambitions of becoming video vixens.

Okay, let me not be so presumptuous, we don't know all the facts yet, but from what it seems, these young ladies risked their lives, and one paid the ultimate price for the most superficial of gains. God rest her soul, but this was a senseless waste of a life. I don't suppose our parents came to this country, took on 9 cleaning jobs, and paid for their children's schooling, for them to wake up one day and say "Nicki Minaj is my hero mummy, not you".

Why would anyone want silicone in their butt? Or in their breasts for that matter? Or a tan, or liposuction?

I've got a theory myself:

1. MTV

Or Music Video Television, so that can broadly cover the whole spectrum of music channels.

The videos reflect the substance free misogynistic rap crap that the ignorants call hip-hop music. The likes of Nelly, Ludacris, Chingy(who?!) promote women shaking it and dropping it low. Flo-rida's latest jaunt doesn't even give the girls the deceny of face time, it is literally a butt fest *shakes head*.

Now young guys (and sadly older guys too) eat these videos up, and start creating these expectations of how they want their women to be.

Public Service Announcement guys:

Those girls are not a true reflection of females. Most females have jobs, and don't have the time to work out 24/9 so probably don't have pefectly toned bods and butts, ergo VIDEOCHICKS ARE NOT REAL.

So young women, wanting the attention of men, try to emulate video girls.

If they tell you, i'm just doing me, don't believe them, its nonsense. How many young ladies shaved off the side of their head, or dyed their hair red coincidently after Rhianna came out with a new video? They're doing 'her' to get with 'you'.

Here we are in 2011 and self respect is as rare as an Orthodox Jew in Upton Park. And wherever there is an opportunity there's money to be made. Parent's please don't be oblivious to what your children are listening to, because if they hear enough nonsense they will start to believe it.

5 Reasons Why Unemployment Isn't So Bad

Ok, so how am I going to write one straight after the other?
What can I say, once I get started, the energiser bunny gets nervous, ya dig!

So, in my time of plenty (or should that read in my plenty of time?!) I have found various ways to amuse myself aside from betting against myself how fast the recruiter via totaljobs will email me back and say 'unfortunately you have not been successful at this stage, we wish you all the best in your job search'.

1. The Wire
Now, my boy called me a fiend.
I said "No i'm not, I can stop whenever I'm want". Thus solidifying his point *sad face*.
From the first week of January up until the final week of January I managed to watch season 1-4.
Yes you read me right. Do you know how many hours that is?
Wars have been fought and concluded in shorter time I kid you not, but that's what I did.
No I'm not proud of it, but damn that show is compulsive viewing. I virtually sat there with the mouse wrapped around my arm taking it in on an audio/visual one.
Suffice to say I had some interesting dreams as a result *shakes head with embarrassed face*
[Sidebar - I washed and ate....and am fortunate to have a very understanding girlfriend]

2. The Book Collection
I like my books. Ask my dad, he was buying them for me when 'click suits' and Tim Westwood were 'in' (sorry Tim!) And now I can point indiscriminately at my little library and get my knowledge on.
Yay!

3. Start-up business.
Or business venture.
Pretty self explanatory really. I know business takes capital, but ideas are free, and I have loads of pens, so like 'The Brain', my plans for world domination (or to make it out of Beckton, minimum) are coming along nicely.

4. Decreased expenditure.
How do you spend what you don't have?! Call in the Labour government, they'll show you.
Na joke.
Ok i'm not totally destitute, I'm getting that 're up money' ya feel me (The Wire Slang for those not in the know. In this context I mean 'that JSA money').

5. The commute.
I'm smiling right now like 1+1=7 and i'm confident in my answer.
I DO NOT MISS THE JUBILEE LINE or DLR.
That Jubilee line has the same level of frequency as Haleys comet. And as for a seat? ForGedabourrit. I was nostril deep in armpit and weave (I know it's your hair because you paid for it...blablabla) on a regular from Canning Town to London Bridge. As for that DLR, what kind of substandard rollercoaster is that, when it's running on time that is, sheesh.

Now I can wake up at unfeasible o'clock, grab a munch and do what I will with my day.

[Remember those shampoo adverts where the woman said "Now, I just wash and go"? Me, I just GO AND WASH, with my 3pm morning breath and eye bogeys *ragz*]

So as I write this, I'm wondering what I will do with tomorrow.
Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised with a good prospect via phone or email.
Maybe I'll make another mixtape of slushy 90's r&b or hiphop classics?

Or pump up my basketball and go work on my free throw.......... coz ya dun know no1 will be on the courts!!!

Peace family :)

How do you stay upbeat in an economic downturn?

Well.
I figured I should write this disclaimer beforehand.
The reasons behind this blog are quite selfish.
This is more of a cathartic exercise for myself. 'Better out than in' I believe the saying is.

So I know I'm not the only one caught up in the midst of this climate of redundancies and fear for the future, but It can feel very personal at times.

Anybody out there signing on?

Not the best experience is it? You feel patronised by the adviser who questions you for being a minute late like your mum would when you get in after school, or having to carry the grey signing on book around with you like you're going to the bookies straight after.
Not cool right?

Now imagine that 2months prior you were on the other side of the desk as an adviser.
Irony of irony's I hear you scoffing wryly, and it is kinda funny, but there it is, that's where I was, and this is where I am now!

[Sidebar - I was at a function, and a female said to me "So what do you do?" I said "I'm unemployed, but I used to work in the jobcentre"
So she retorted "Well surely you could've got yourself a job"........oh if Tigerknee's were socially acceptable...sigh *disappointedface*]
[Further sidebar - GBH or ABH are neither correct or legal in a caught of law]

So back to the initial question, how do you stay upbeat in an economic downturn?

Answer?
Darned if I know!
Honestly I don't believe you can be upbeat 100% of the time, that's not realistic is it. We humans are emotional creatures, we laugh, we cry, we kiss our teeth at black families on Eastenders, but we are never the same all of the time.
We all have days when we're brimming over with confidence.
You wake up feeling like 'Yeah, today's MY DAY', 'This job's got me all over it, i'm a shoe in'.

Then you wake up on other days, open the curtains and there's no sun, you get three rejection emails, you start wondering why no one responds to your applications, do I have anything to offer employers that 72 others don't havex12? And are cynical when your nearest and dearest tell you 'Don't worry, this isn't forever, something will give'.
WHEN? Might be what you feel like asking. In fact I asked that today. Frustration is a.....

So I suppose it's about finding balance.
Filling the void.
Maybe the problem lies in what you do to occupy your time.

If the answer is:

A. Nothing
B. Watch Jeremy Kyle/Jerry Springer/Judge Judy
C. Exasperate at how everyone else is doing so much better than you, and ask God why me.....

THEN YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME.

A. Do something.
Go and wash. Educate yourself/learn a language. Update your skills. Give back to the community. Go visit your nan/granddad. Hit the gym, go hard or go home/get hench or cry trying/shut up and train etc.
B. Don't depress yourself further by watching other low achievers disgrace themselves because they wanted a free paternity test/stay in Premier Inn Manchester Central/a public way to burst out of the closet.
C. Everybody else ISN'T YOU, so any such comparisons are only going to leave you feeling worse, and depending on the individual that can lead to all sorts......CHOOSE LIFE PEOPLE, have a green tea maybe.
Everybody has a purpose, and though it may not be apparent at the moment, it will be revealed eventually [SIDE BAR - check this book out In The Pursuit of Purpose by Myles Munroe].

Now, have a look at this, it's my first blog:
http://theroadtomanhood-forgingyourownpath.blogspot.com/

I wrote this because a friend of mine was in a similar position to where I am now, and I didn't know how best to manifest my support to him.
Whether or not it helped the friend isn't so important, however what is, is that the friend struggled, faced some ups and downs and is now in a place that at lows points couldn't see.

If you are of any particular faith I don't need to tell you that you will more than likely find some comfort/the answer, in your holy book.

Here are some examples from the book I'm familiar with:

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;

Proverbs 24:10

If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small.

Philippians 4:12-13

I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Romans 12:2

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - thanks for that one Aba!

For more see:
http://www.openbible.info/topics/adversity

So I suppose all of this advice Is easier said than done?
Yeah maybe.
And Lord knows I found this easier to write than to hear from somebody else, but It's all pretty straightforward I think.

Do you! Have faith and confidence in your abilities. It probably will all turn around for you, but if it doesn't, revert to your plan b/c/d/e/f (you do have a one of those, right?).
But most importantly, remember, if you're reading this that it means You are not alone.
MJ done told you, weren't you listening? I AM HERE WITH YOU!!!

And that sentiment should be a basis for you trying something different to change your situation.
I think the 'when' part is the hardest. But it will change.....right?

'God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference'.

Shout out to the people that keep me above the water, you know who you are because I talk to you all daily.
More to come....

Who Will Help?

If eyes cried on the inside, i'd be 90% water, and my soul would drowned in a sea of mysery.

Who will help? Will you help? Someone please.

In my younger days, when the beef was on, we'd swing it out. Someone left with a bruised ego, and a burst lip - BUT YOU BOTH LEFT.

Now its all change, not one punch is thrown, just weapons. One persons runs away swiftly, and one person doesn't.
Fights over post codes destroy lifes.

Post Codes?
WHAT THE FUCK?
Which one of you YOUNG BLACK MALES owns a fucking piece of land in London? Furthermore, which one of your parents owns a piece of land in London?
Many black parents don't even own the property you live in, nor do they have a mortgage on it, NOR DO YOU PAY RENT.

He stepped on my crep, so i'm gonna dun his life.
He told me to put out a cigarette so i blazed him.
He DISRESPECTED ME........

We're all made in the image of our ancestors, and they are responsible for our prescence on earth right?
As black people we are linked. So when did the change occur that made it acceptable for us play GOD and wipe each other of the face of the earth over nothing?

And when did it become acceptable to witness such things and NOT intervene. What happened to communal responsibility?

Doesn't it take a village to raise a child?
When did the village catch fire and the adults leave?

Why do you wear your hood down so low, Dont you want to be seen?
Why do you wear all black, Are you expecting a death?
Why do you carry a strap, carry a shank, fly off the handle, call for a murkage, WALK WITH A VICIOUS LOOKING DOG?

Why bruv?

WHY?

are you scared?

Guess what brotha man, i'm scared too.
Scared that the last real BROTHA is gonna get stabbed to death trying to save a NIGGA LIKE 50.

Is this what Martin died for?
Is this what Malcolm died for?
Is this what Bob died for?
Is this what Garvey died for?
Is this what Lennon died for?

THUG LIFE. Maybe its what 2pac died for?

If eyes cried on the inside, my soul would've shipped out with hurricane Katrina.

and who would've helped?

and the Lost Generation

Pheeew, life in Britain. Where to begin, where to begin?....

Well, let me start by saying its the only home i've known and where i've grown up, but there came a point in my teenage years when I came to a realisation that there must be more out there than this.

I mean, when I look around at the way my parents, and relatives, and family friends work so hard to provide for their families - they DON'T have enough time for their own well being.
Then all that they earn is taxed, and due to long working hours, they hardly have time for their families for which they are working all the hours God sends.

So the question is, where is the time to raise your children in the UK?
I was fortunate to turn out ok (i.e never turned to the streets for love and affection), went through school, college and am now a graduate.
But not everybody goes through this process.

I also neglected to mention that I was raised with both parents present. Some would see that as an advantage, i say that's debatable, but that's another blog altogether!
But what I was trying to get at is when working all the hours that God sends, where do you find the time between work and weary to raise a family?

I often wonder why so many of our young people are doing allsorts of badness on the streets nowadays. And not just the senseless killings (not that that is a small feat in itself) but also the general bad attitudes, bad habits and lack of common courtesy or respect for each other, elders or authority. I can't sit on the top deck of a bus for apprehension of what torrent of obscenities i'll hear, i.e minors talking about what degrading sexual acts they performed on each other in some public park.

It's unfortunate that the government and media instantly ask questions of the family when one young man kills another, not taking into account that as a parent in today's Britain, you physically cannot be accountable for your child's whereabouts 24/7.
But on the flipside to this, should young people be left to their own devices? What about the extended family (inclusive of friends and neighbours), where are they and would they be willing to chastise a young person that they know on the street?

And some of the attitudes some young children have towards each other, and others from a different background to them...it makes me wonder what they are learning at home.

What they are learning at home?
If at all.

This blog could go on for the foreseeable future but I shall curtail it here with this thought:
Through all the adversity faced by my grandparents, parents and myself in this country - how did we bring about a seemingly lost generation. Where did we go wrong?